Trump Uses 'Big Balls' Attack Tale As Dog Whistle Distraction

Donald Trump used a racist dog whistle in his threat to take federal control of DC after DOGE staffer known as 'Big Balls' was allegedly attacked.

Aug 06, 2025

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A DOGE staffer known ironically as ‘Big balls’ was reportedly attacked during a carjacking in DC, according to police.

This was enough for unhinged President Donald Trump to start threatening to take federal control of DC — something he’s been longing to do since he first set upon the White House in 2017, given the unrepresented district’s leanings toward institutions supporting a free democracy.

NBC News reported:

Edward Coristine, also known by his online name, “Big Balls,” and a woman characterized in a police report as his significant other were the victims of an unarmed attempted carjacking early Sunday.

Washington Metropolitan Police on Tuesday announced the arrests of two 15-year-old suspects from Maryland.

Maryland is a majority-minority state with a diverse racial and ethnic makeup.

Trump Threatens to Takeover DC

“Local ‘youths’ and gang members, some only 14, 15, and 16-years-old, are randomly attacking, mugging, maiming, and shooting innocent Citizens, at the same time knowing that they will be almost immediately released,” the president wrote on his social media platform Truth Social, like a teenager wailing in bloggy angst on Tumblr.

“If D.C. doesn’t get its act together, and quickly, we will have no choice but to take Federal control of the City, and run this City how it should be run, and put criminals on notice that they’re not going to get away with it anymore,” Trump added.

We can’t argue that criminals should be put on notice that they’re not going to get away with it anymore, and we believe that Donald Trump should lead by example.

Donald Trump is a criminal. He should not get away with it anymore. Publish the Epstein Files.

The Fantastical Spin

It’s always a ride when the self-deluded rebellious teenagers of the Trump orbit tell stories about news. They add so much spin to the stories that they rarely manage to impart reliable facts to the public, and this is no different.

Elon Musk told this as a story about a brave hero defending a woman who was in her car at night. This story counteracts one problematic defining feature of the Trump administration — its unwavering contempt for women — a fact that even Georgia Republican Marjorie Taylor Green has acknowledged, albeit for self-serving purposes.

Musk wrote on his social media platform - the one he bought and destroyed as he sought to remake it in his own image:

“A few days ago, a gang of about a dozen young men tried to assault a woman in her car at night in DC. A @Doge team member saw what was happening, ran to defend her and was severely beaten to the point of concussion, but he saved her.”

Yes, the brave a 19-year-old software engineer and former DOGE staffer who now works in the Social Security Administration department, the one who spent months invading federal institutions, firing people, and stealing Americans’ data, rode in on his white cape to save a helpless woman from “thugs”. Oh, my. All of the strong, white men in the Trump orbit! It’s enough to make Putin jealous.

However, it was not to be, as NBC noted dryly, “The police report said the vehicle belonged to Coristine.”

And the woman is his significant other, according to police. ‘Big Balls’ was assaulted early Sunday by teenagers attempting to carjack him and a woman whom police identified as his significant other, according to the Associated Press.

“Police said that in an interview, Coristine said he pushed the woman identified as his significant other into the car and ‘turned to deal with the suspects,’ who in turn assaulted him,” NBC added helpfully.

It was Big Balls’ car. The woman is his significant other.

They’re Speaking Up Totally Randomly and Not at All as Distraction

The-thought-to-be-tipsy-during-her-Fox-News-show-but-her-slurred-speech-was-due-to-"technical difficulties” Jeanine Pirro is now Trump’s best and brightest U.S. attorney for Washington, and she randomly piped up that we need to get guns off the streets.

“Our job is to get guns off the streets…”

The alleged attackers were unarmed.

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, the same PickMe conspiracy theorist who is herself a most unreliable narrator, and who railed about Republicans being horrible to Republican women after Trump supposedly snubbed her, labeled Big Balls’ significant other as a “helpless woman.”

Wired pointed out that this helpless woman white cape Big Balls saved is likely Emily Bryant, who was named in the police report. A DOGE affiliate named Emily Bryant has been linked to the Executive Office of the President, they add.

“(T)he report references Emily Bryant as a second victim and describes her as Coristine’s “significant other.” A DOGE affiliate named Emily Bryant has been linked to the Federal Trade Commission, the General Services Administration, and the Executive Office of the President.”

So now we have: It was Big Balls’ car. The woman is his significant other who seems to be affiliated with DOGE and the Executive Office of the President. And the alleged attackers were unarmed.

Trump Calls the Teenagers Thugs

Violent crime has actually decreased in DC in recent years. “The current level of violent crime is the lowest in over 30 years.” But facts never get in the way of a Trump narrative.

Trump wants to prosecute minors as young as 14 as “adults”. He referred to them as “thugs.”

“They are not afraid of Law Enforcement because they know nothing ever happens to them, but it’s going to happen now! The Law in D.C. must be changed to prosecute these ‘minors’ as adults, and lock them up for a long time, starting at age 14. The most recent victim was beaten mercilessly by local thugs.”

The Hill/Fox40 pointed out that crime has decreased in DC.

“Crime in D.C. was down 35 percent in 2024 from the previous year, marking a 30-year low. Data from the district shows violent crime is also down so far in 2025 compared with the previous year.”

While violent crime is down, local officials reportedly note youth crimes like carjacking remain a concern in DC.

Racist Dog Whistle

Trump’s go-to when support is fledgling is racism. It always works for him with his base, and so he is whistling that dog whistle so loudly it’s impossible not to hear.

We have thugs, we have a helpless woman attacked by thugs, we have crime!

This association is so well known there is an entire article about it on the National Library of Medicine.

From “brute” to “thug:” the demonization and criminalization of unarmed Black male victims in America*

“The synonymy of Blackness with criminality is not a new phenomenon in America. Documented historical accounts have shown how myths, stereotypes, and racist ideologies led to discriminatory policies and court rulings that fueled racial violence in a post-Reconstruction era and has culminated in the exponential increase of Black male incarceration today. Misconceptions and prejudices manufactured and disseminated through various channels such as the media included references to a ‘brute’ image of Black males. In the 21^st century, this negative imagery of Black males has frequently utilized the negative connotation of the terminology ‘thug.’”

This point is not missed by anyone with even two brain cells to connect. It’s glaringly obvious, and it’s supposed to be. Trump is waving his GREAT WHITE HOPE flag to distract his base from the Epstein Files.

Odd

Wired also reported that when they contacted the Metropolitan Police Department, they “initially said that there were no police reports that mentioned an “Ed” or “Edward” Coristine. However, the police report obtained by WIRED says that the victims of the alleged crime were Coristine and Bryant.”

They elaborated that former DOGE staffer Big Balls “saw the suspects approach and make a comment about taking the vehicle." It claims that Coristine then “pushed” Bryant into the car. Then, according to the report, Coristine “turned to deal with the suspects. The suspects then began to assault [him].”

So Big Balls heard a “suspect” make a comment about taking the vehicle and he turned around to “deal with the suspects.”

But the most questionable part of this entire story is that the police told Wired we have no reason not to believe Donald Trump.

When asked about the bloodied photo that is allegedly of Big Balls posted by Donald Trump, Metropolitan Police Department spokesperson Tom Lynch couldn’t or wouldn’t verify the photo, but said because it was posted by the president “‘there’s no reason not to believe’ it was authentic.”

Oh, honey.

Donald Trump is KNOWN for his stories that don’t hold up to scrutiny.

“162 lies and distortions in a news conference,” NPR titled a piece about Trump lying 162 times during a 64 minute news conference in August 2024. They noted that Trump tells a lot of lies, another “glaring example is his helicopter emergency landing story, which has not stood up to scrutiny.”

But, you know, Barack Obama wore a tan suit.

Can He Federalize DC?

Federalizing DC is not a matter of signing an executive order. Axios wrote, “To take over D.C., Congress would have to overturn the Home Rule Act of 1973, which was signed into law by former President Richard Nixon after the District's residents pushed for more control.”

One thing Trump’s push to federalize DC might do is invigorate the movement to get DC more than a delegate who cannot vote on bills form of representation in the U.S. House.

Unreliable Narrators

The police report said police “observed a group of approximately 10 juveniles surrounding the complainants’ vehicle,” which sounds scary, but the story is also being blown up by historically unreliable narrators who have an agenda to change the topic right now.

If Big Balls was beaten by unarmed teenagers, that’s horrible. Violent crime is indeed a horrible thing, including when police violently attack unarmed Black men, including when the Speaker of the House’s husband is violently attacked by an intruder who was radicalized by MAGA online, including when armed, masked “ICE” agents attack and kidnap immigrants, including violent attacks against law enforcement in an attempted insurrection thought to be incited by this president against the United States, including violent crimes against women that Republican policies incentivize — yes, violent crime is a horrible thing that we should all condemn and have and support policies that prove we condemn it.

Unfortunately, many of the loudest players in this story have mocked and lied about many of the violent crime victims listed above, but they will be the loudest demanding respect be given to this story, because it involves one of their own.

Convicted felons shouldn’t be president, because it is a permission slip for criminals everywhere to be like the convicted felon president.

No matter how much they embellish it, this Big Balls-attacked-by-unarmed-teenagers story does not in any way justify Trump’s threat to federalize DC. Instead, it’s giving racist dog whistle distraction.

If Trump is really concerned about crime in DC, then he should realize that the last thing DC needs is to be run by a convicted felon.

What do you think about Trump wanting to federalize DC? Share your thoughts in the comments below.